The Better-Late-Than-Never Update Post
Well, my friends, it’s been a very long time since I’ve really posted anything of personal value here on this blog. I did my American Idol updates (why, I’m not sure… just out of habit, I guess. I doubt anyone read them or cared, but I guess I did my unofficial, unassigned job) and that was about it.
Well, there’s a really good reason or two behind all of that. First off, this school year has been crazy, to say the least. I think that’s about all I’ll say on that for now, besides the fact that my job changes from year to year, and I always feel like I have to reinvent the wheel each and every year, so I always feel behind. Always.
Second, I’ve been having major back issues since February 1st – Super Bowl Sunday, to be exact. (Yes, I know I just used a trademarked term). I cheered my Steelers on to their SIXTH Super Bowl WIN while in major pain. I woke up that morning and could not sit, stand, or walk, let alone lay flat in bed or on the floor. At that point, the doctor said it was sciatica (my sciatic nerve was being pinched on the right side), and that physical therapy (PT) would be pretty much all I could do for it.
So I worked through it. I couldn’t do much of anything but go to work and PT. It was slowly progressing to the point where I could walk upright without major pain medication or much pain, and things were getting good. Jon and I made our annual trip to Las Vegas at the beginning of April and had a nice time, and I was virtually pain free the entire time – and even did a good bit of walking (among the sitting poolside in the sun, soaking as much of it in as I could).
Then, on April 22, I tripped over Lilo, my cat (BTW, I almost never do that), and finished the job: I now had a herniated disc in my lumbar region (L5-S1, to be precise). Of course, before I knew what exactly was plaguing me, there was lots of crap in between it all. I woke the next morning, back at Square One, only worse. I struggled through the next few days, including a candle party I was hosting at my house. I visited my doctor again that Monday, and she decided it was time to do an MRI, as we needed to see what exactly we were dealing with. Of course, I had to play the Insurance Game and find out where I could go and if I needed a pre-certification for an MRI. Thank God that I didn’t need a pre-cert, because I was in so much pain that Wednesday, that they were ready to call an ambulance for me at work. I barely made it to the MRI place, where, thankfully, Jon met me and I went in for the MRI. That was the most relief I had had in about a week – that hour and a half on the MRI bed. But I paid dearly for it – it took me at least 30 minutes to get from the MRI bed to the dressing room to change back into my clothes. Yes, it hurt THAT bad.
The next day, the doctor got the FAXed report that stated that I had a herniated disc. Hallelujah! I had a name for what had been plaguing me and sucking the life out of me. Now, what to do? I called the back surgeon my doctor referred me to… and the earliest he could get me in just to examine me? The end of June. Yes, the END of June. I was like, “Ummmm, NO. Thank you.” I didn’t know who to go to – I don’t know one back surgeon from any other, and I didn’t really want to pick one blindly.
To make a long story short, I relied on a few personal friends’ references and went with a surgeon from a local clinic that is known for its orthopedic surgery – hands, knees, shoulders, spines… and they were able to get me in the following Tuesday – again, hallelujah! I was originally supposed to see the nurse practitioner, but they called me back later in the day (after I presume they received the FAX of the MRI report) and added me to the surgeon’s schedule at the end of the day. Basically, I was to be the reason he didn’t get home in time for dinner that day… and it was because of what was on that report. I was a little scared at this point, but in so much pain. Luckily, my primary care doctor also upped my pain medication (in the form of a patch), and thank the bebby jeebus that it worked! Before long, I was walking around in a slight fog, but I was mostly pain-free.
But it was not without sacrifices, or little things known as side effects. Sure, I was pain-free, but I was in a fog (still able to function, just a little slow on the uptake), I was always sleepy and could have taken a nap on a moment’s notice – anywhere. I had this awful taste in my mouth that would NOT go away. My left ankle and foot were holding water like they would wither away and die if they didn’t. And? The gas was THE worst – I usually have bad gas (a byproduct of my gastric bypass), but this? Was awful. Even I was gagging… and I can usually tolerate my own stink. This? Was sneaking out even when I was doing my best to keep it in. There was nothing silent about it and there was nothing stink-free about it. Even anti-gas gels weren’t doing a damn thing. Then there was the nausea on the first day after applying a new patch.
Each patch stays on for three days and then you peel it off and replace it with a new one. While this shit was good, it was also miserable (but 100 times better than the alternative, which was immense pain). I always put a new patch on at night, but the next day would be miserable with numerous trips to the restroom to throw up, even if I didn’t have anything in my system. I was constantly nauseous and just felt ill that first day of the pain patch. However, there was absolutely no pain. (One day, I had two corndogs for lunch and really only got to ‘keep’ half of one.) The second day was always minus the nauseousness, but a wee bit of the pain would creep back in. The third day I always felt fine, but even more of the pain would creep in. And then the vicious cycle would repeat.
Sometimes, I felt almost guilty, like I didn't really need surgery... seeing how I really didn't feel any pain with the pain patch. But I knew that if I didn't have that patch, that I wouldn't be moving at all because it hurt so fucking bad. I'm not even sure I can put into words how bad it hurt before the pain meds were adjusted. There was one point where Jon thought I was just playing up the pain... but then he saw the pain in action and in my face after the MRI. He saw the pain when it took me 30 minutes to move the 15 feet from the bed to the toilet to go to the bathroom.
But, now I can happily say that I am on the other side of the surgery and am pain-free -- as far as the herniated disc pain goes. Now, it's all about getting back into life... slowly. I'll address that in the next post... since this one is already longer than most of you will have sat and read. If you made it this far, thanks for being a super trooper and reading.
